My father died on this date years ago, and it is refreshing to me how the memory of him has lessened as each year goes by. He was an abusive bully and a big keeper of secrets so I like to speak out about what an unpleasant person he was when I feel like it.
There seems to be this general rule that you should be reconciled with a parent before their death. I don't see what the point of that is as it doesn't change them, and just makes the child feel guilty.
It's a shame when time marches on but when parents are dead, your life is your own. You don't have to do things the way they wanted -- you can make your own rules.
I hope I am not a burden on my kids. I hope to just go off somewhere when I get too old and leave them to get on with life without guilt and regret.