Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Women's shapes become like men's

We went up to meet some in-laws for a pub lunch in London. It was a sunny afternoon -- one of the last we'll have in August in England, I read -- and it was nice not to have to cook lunch. Here we are:


We went there because my niece Georgia has a summer job there as a waitress. I walked up to her and said, WAITRESS! and then made some demand. I'm sure she saw the amusing side of it. (?)

Isn't she a pretty thang? (below) She got some beautiful Italian looks from my bro-in-law's side of the family:


At the pub, then men started talking about sports and cars, as they do. We women, on the other hand, had some menopausal issues to discuss. I related how I had consulted my doctor about the menopause, and he had some horrible things to say. The worst was that women get flab around the middle because they lose hormones and their shapes become like men!

Unthinkable! Why should we start to get shapes like men after all we've gone through giving birth and raising children?

14 comments:

Tim Trent said...

Your doctor is... wrong. Wherever women add fat they don't look like men. A male lard tub looks male, a female lard tub looks female, slim ones look like slim men and slim women. Delusional medics really do not help!

brenda said...

Tim, you could not know this, but "tub o' lard" will resonate with our inimitable Blog Queen. Her niece (not Georgia, another one) once described a former boyfriend that way.

I'm always (like Mel) on the watch for a way to make a quick buck bilking the masses, and I think I've lit upon just the thing: An OTC nasal spray that (temporarily) deadens the olfactory sense. You just whip out the tastefully-packaged inhalant canister (possibly designed to look like a lipstick) and get a good snootful of its deadening force...just before a restaurant meal. PRESTO! You can't smell anything, so the food isn't tempting. So, you just sort of pick at the salad. And lose 5 pounds a week, guaranteed OR YOUR MONEY BACK!:):)

"Delusional Medics"---a great title for a TV series!

Tim Trent said...

Why would anyone choose a Tub O' Lard as a boyfriend! Ewwwwwww!

Do you ever walk past two lard tubs pushing a baby in a pushchair and wonder... How?

mel said...

Tim said:
"Do you ever walk past two lard tubs pushing a baby in a pushchair and wonder... How?"

Tim, if you don't know by now, I'm afraid there's little hope for you!

Tim Trent said...

I know the theory, but how do things actually reach in those circumstances?

brenda said...

Yes, Mel, the mechanics are the same, but oh the extra junk sloshing around. It would put me off, but obviously the majority of the population is not so squeamish nor discriminating. Hence the tubs of lard pushing prams about!

mel said...

All you need is a little imagination. They don't necessarily use the same positions as the rest of the population.

Tim Trent said...

Which? Enquiring minds want to know!

Yet Another Anonymous said...

The commingling of lard may be the explanation for declining birth rates among anglos across the developed world.

Yet Another Anonymous said...

Tim, I don't know about positions but I have heard of the following two techniques for making love with extra plump women. The first is to slap them on the thigh and ride the wave in, and the second is to roll them in flour and look for the wet spot. That's what they say, anyway.

Hope this helps.

Tim Trent said...

Flour and lard, eh? Are we making pastry here?

brenda said...

EWWWW!

mel said...

Not that you have any experience in these matters, eh YAA?

What I heard about fat men is that they have to lie on their backs. If his partner is fat too, I wonder how that would work? What about he lies on his back, she sits facing his feet and "engages"? That sounds most realistic to me.

Tim Trent said...

Sonds like Star Trek: "Engage!"