Things to do by the end of summer

I read an amusing list of things to do before the summer goes. Many of them ('go to the beach with your kids') aren't applicable to England where it's too chilly and rainy this August to loll on a beach.

Other items were cute. Here are my faves:

Wear White: It's not just a silly scene out of Serial Mom: wearing white after Labor Day is a serious sartorial offense. You don't need to give people another reason to make fun of you! Plan your outfits accordingly so you can get all your white pants, shoes, bags, and other accessories one last wear before they are relegated to the back of the closet. While you're at it, give all your linen, seersucker, and sandals another go 'round too. If you dare take them out before Easter, it's at your peril.

Watch Things Explode: The only thing that says summer more than heat, humidity, and nothing to do at the office is big, expensive, effects-laden action movies. There's something special about spending a calm day in the fabricated chill of the multiplex watching a bunch of macho heroes turn cars, buildings, tanks, airplanes, and just about any other large structure into fiery rubble. It hasn't been the best summer for blockbusters, but between Inception, Salt, and The Expendables, there is bound to be something worth your $12. Now if only we could blow up Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love.

Call in Sick: You pretend like you're so busy at work, but face it, there isn't shit to do right now. Half of the country is on vacation, so even if you wanted to do your job, the people who enable you to do it are sitting on a chaise lounge somewhere with a fruity cocktail right now. Do yourself a favor and join them. It's not like you're going to miss anything. Go to the beach, spend some time with the kids before school starts, enjoy a day watching Judge Judy reruns. Anything is better than trying to pretend like you are actually doing something. Your boss isn't even around to care and we all know it's not until September that anything worthwhile gets accomplished anyway. Oh, guys, I'm gonna be "sick" next Thursday. Just letting you know now.

Read Something Stupid: There is nothing happening. All the media has been collectively obsessed with lately is flight attendant Steven Slater's flamboyant flame out, Chelsea Clinton's wedding, and Lindsay Lohan's jail sentence. Don't bitch about our tabloid culture, just enjoy it. Pretty soon the legislatures will be back in session, there will be some elections, or another disaster, terrorist plot, or major court decision will come along. Then you can feel all intelligent reading your smarty-pants news. Right now, there's something about Justin Bieber's hair that needs your attention.