Before I met Sue, I was at Boots buying a fab new 24-hour eyeliner and eyebrow tint when the phone rang. It was my husband Mel. He began to tell me in detail how Minnie, our foster cat (pic below), had an attack of diarrhea in the kitchen. He described where it was, the color, the smell, the amount -- in such excruciating detail.
I was still looking at the eye liners, trying to decide between dark brown and black, as I listened. Finally I said, 'Look, just leave it all and I'll clean it up when I get home.'
'I can't do that,' he said, 'the smell is too awful to leave it. I have to clean it up now.'
'So why did you call me?' I asked.
'I just wanted you to know what I'm going through,' he replied. 'I wanted to make sure you were aware of this incident.'
That made me laugh. He just wanted to officially register that he had suffered such a distressing episode, I guess, on our Marital Register of Things We Have Gone Through -- some points in the Goodwill Bank so to speak.
9 comments:
I was laughing reading about Mel calling you in the middle of Minnie's diarrhea! I had to read it to Tom, who also laughed, and had to point out that these important occasions also decay over time, so it was important that Mel stop right then, before he cleaned up, to get your acknowledgment on the phone, instead of waiting until you got home and telling you, as it would not have been remotely as fulfilling.
What's the new 24 hour eyeliner? Is it a new No.7 one? Let me know if it stays on - I think eyeliner is more important than mascara, for that wide-awake, polished look.
Now, was I the only one (besides Mel and Minnie) NOT laughing at this? There were two distinct wrong acts committed here, but at least Minnie could not help herself when she committed hers.
Our house rule is, He/She who Finds It Deals With It...and if I called my husband (or he me) with such "news" (with graphic details yet!) and interrupted a pleasant outing---well, "Hell to pay" would be an understatement.
Mel! What were you thinking?
...and by the way, Minnie is absolutely beautiful! Perhaps she didn't even commit the offense---perhaps a bum wandered in off the streets and availed himself of the premises? Could happen in these degenerate days...yes, I say let's pin it on the Mad Pooper of Reading.
I was so aghast at this story that I failed to express concern the original problem. I am a bit concerned about Minnie's digestive health. Ellen, are you out there? Perhaps you have some ideas. In my (considerable) experience with housecats, I have observed that they really, truly do NOT want to make a mess if they can help it. Naturally clean and "nice" (in the fine old 18th-century sense of that word, meaning discriminating and particular about things,) cats will generally not soil where they should not, unless they are truly ill. Recently, my older cat had a reaction to his Clavamox antibiotic, and had an accident similar to Minnie's, but the poor old fellow tried his best to make it to his litter-box in time, failing only by a few inches.
Now, Eliz, you also reported that she once (or more) availed herself of the kitchen sink? This is a puzzler, because cats generally want soil, or sand, or shredded paper, to bury their little gifts in---a cold porcelain surface would not be appealing, usually.
This is why we could never have a sandbox outdoors for our child; neighbor cats as well as our own would have considered it a mighty fine spot for you-know-what, and we knew we'd find innumerable Tootsie Rolls buried there.
A visit to the vet might be in order, or at least some web research. Poor Miss M might have an upset tummy that needs attention.
Thanks for ideas -- will monitor her backside and maybe take her to the vet. I had to put flea stuff on her today, and now she's furious with me and runs from me when I enter the room. Gawd, she should be thanking me instead of avoiding me!
BWJ, re strange poo'ers -- I've been finding huge turds filled with berries in my garden for a few weeks now and was perplexed -- then Mikey told me it's urban foxes that do that -- they eat berries then shit wherever -- they live in garbage cans or anywhere they can and come out at night. It's so gross to me!
Lisa, I threw the containers away but these products are great. The eyebrow thing stays on all day until you wash your face. I have disappearing eyebrows so I need help defining them but pencil wears off so quickly. The eyeliner has stayed on all day but it's not as great as the Bobbi Brown purple eye gel liner that I normally use but then that doesn't stay on all day either. I need to find some 24-hour lipstick -- any ideas??
Oh this 24-hour stuff is in the nail/manicure section of Boots -- don't know why but that's where it is.
Oh yes, those gel-liners are reputed to be the best. I'd just love a simpler pen shaped thing that doesn't require a separate brush etc.
I'll be right next to Boots tomorrow and will have a look.
Yeah, the Bobbi Brown gel liner brush is like £17 and the gel stuff is about £13 -- then I was on a plane the other month and they had a special deal on it for much cheaper. argh. But it's the best stuff I've used.
The 24 hour stuff is called something like color sport -- it's only £6.99 for each thing so worth a try. I exercise every lunch time and am always on the go so I need some industrial-strength makeup to get me through my work day.
I saw Minnie eating a plant in the living room so I think that's the source of her stomach upset. Have moved the plant outdoor where it can meet its fate -- it can survive the English winter or not as it likes.
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