I was reading a trashy UK mag the other week -- readers send in incredible stories about how they had five kids by five different men or were sent to jail for drug dealing or anything equally lurid -- they sign their names to it, have pictures taken and get paid a couple of hundred pounds for it. One time Helen McGrath Garton, who introduced me to the relaxing joys of reading this stuff, saw an article about a women we worked with -- it was written by the irate wife of the man this woman was living with.
If you have a sensational story to tell, you can sell it here:
Cash for Your Story But send it to this blog first, of course.
Anyway, I loved this complaint from a loyal reader in this week's issue of That's Life mag:
There's nothing that annoys me more than distasteful adverts on teatime telly. Sitting down to dinner, I can't stomach all those ads for incontinence pads and thrush cream. The worst ones are those awful commercials for constipation pills. I know they are supposed to keep you regular, but the only thing regular about them is how often they appear on TV.
If these products have to be advertised, then can't they be scheduled to avoid meal times?
This is a tough problem for Diane Jones, 71, of Portslade, East Sussex. (who sort of looks like a man in her photo) I don't suppose she could eat her dinner at a table instead of on a tray table in front of the TV?
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
I've 'AD enough
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24 comments:
Heaven forbid she actually turn her telly off!
It is interesting, isn't it, that in her world there appears to be no other way to eat dinner than in front of the TV so her outrage is completely justifiable, whereas if she used lateral thinking, she could solve this prob in a jiffy. (Turn TV off, or eat at a proper table or go to Bingo and eat while they call her numbers, etc.)
After reconsidering, I'm wondering if she lives on her own. That may explain why she wants the telly on.
First thing every morning, his Mum turns on the telly in the lounge and it doesn't go off till she goes to bed. This, of course, irritates his Dad, who would like to read the paper. Mum can no longer read (her pre-stroke favorite past time,) so she gets extremely frustrated if he dares to suggest turning it off.
They have their dining table in the lounge so that they can watch the telly while eating.
Last year, we moved into the house they had been living in and they were amazed we didn't put our table in the lounge, but in the 18 foot (large by UK standards) kitchen/diner. They had everything crammed into the lounge.
The dilemma of growing old is weighing heavily on my mind these days and whether it's better to be old in the UK or the US is a frequent topic in our home as we deal with Vince's folks. Vince's worry is that if you don't drive in America and you're old, what do you do?
Television, UGH, my bugbear. I used to hate it because it was mindless drivel, now I hate it because it requires too many remote controls that I am too stupid to learn to use. If ever I am tragically widowed, all THREE of ours (two HD flatscreens, any bidders?) will be unceremoniously put out on the street on trash pickup day.
One of my best and brightest friends, who is also my Italian teacher, doesn't even own one. "But...what do you DO at night?" she is asked with pity and wonder. "Uh...read?" is her answer. She's the only person I know who has read all 5 volumes of Sir Osbert Sitwell's memoirs, and Caesar's *Commentarii de Bello Gallico* (in Latin!) I seriously doubt that she has ever seen a commercial for laxatives, erectile-dysfunction pills, or feminine-hygeine products. Bless her poor culturally-deprived little heart...!
Theresa, just re-read your post and noticed that your mother-in-law can no longer read---sorry I missed that point. What Hell! But as an alternative to TV, could you rig her up with headphones---iPod or something---so she can listen to recorded books, or classical music? Anything's bound to be better than TV, especially as it annoys her husband (who has my sympathy---I loathe a blaring box.)
that's right, Theresa. You can get old in the UK and still get around. My husband's grandmother was still taking the bus to the shops to buy her food and do errands when she was in her 90s. My grandmothers, on the other hand, were out of luck when their sight got worse in their 80s because when you can't drive where they lived, you couldn't get anywhere by public transport. I remember my grandmother writing me letters about how boring old age was because she couldn't get out as she couldn't drive anymore and there is a limit to how many times you can ask people to drive you places.
BWJ, I remember this story about how your Italian teacher has no TV. You told me in front of Lizzy one time & I remarked that I bet she didn't have a man either because there is no house where there is a man where there is not also a TV. I think I'd rather have a partner and a TV in life, even if I can't stand the blaring of the TV (which I can't) than be alone w/ my books for the rest of my life.
Good point. TVs and men seem to come as a package deal, though God knows why. WHAT do they gain from hours spent in front of all that noisy babble? Well, I have a plan for my second marriage. The Infernal Machine will be tastefully confined to ONE SMALL ROOM---a tiny library perhaps---and if The Second Mr. B'Wee simply cannot exist another minute without watching some forgettable pablum, he'll jolly well have to hole up in The Hole and enjoy it on his own, without snacks from the kitchen. Or maybe if I'm really in love, I'll provide a little mini-fridge in The Hole---after all, the Bible says that Man does not exist on Red Dwarf (or The Office, or car-auctions, or science shows, or repeats of dumb-ass comedy movies...) alone---there's gotta be chips and beer as well...
...now waaaait a minute, Eliz! Why must it always be the TV-hater who must sacrifice her peace of mind, and choose between a lonely solitary life of books, or partnership with a media-addict? I think men could (and should!) re-phrase your last sentence as, "I'd rather live without TV and have a wife in my life..." O Brave New World! Shall we ever see it?:):)
Sadly, we've tried the whole audio book thing with Edith, but the stroke also affected her short-term memory, so if she listens to a bit of one, she won't remember what it was the next time she turns it on.
For the first year we lived in England, we do so without television. We read, we played Scrabble, Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit. If it was up to Vince, we still would not have one, but I missed being able to watch films/DVDs. We don't enjoy going to the movies/cinema because I have no patience for those who talk during a film. It's easier to just watch the DVD at home.
Hi Theresa---I can't really concentrate on audio books either; without the word on the printed page my mind wanders, and even at the climax of the action I begin thinking about tomorrow's market list, or some such. Poor Edith. Getting old and infirm is not for the faint of heart, is it? And yet plenty of faint-hearted people end up that way (I shall be among them...) My mother is 82 and fit as a fiddle, so I hope I got her genes. About television: my father died when he was 59---mom was 57---and a few months after his funeral we were talking, and she was telling me how things were different around the house, much quieter. "I don't have to listen to that darned TV show he loved so!" [*note to Brit readers, it was "Hee Haw" and I just cannot explain this terrible program to you all---Google it and witness the appalling corny jokes and country music.] "Oh, Mom," I said sympathetically. "Do you sometimes wish he would come back and turn it on once more?" "HECK NO!" she replied. I mean, I think she missed HIM, but not that awful show...
I don't have a TV in my uni house.
OR t'internet.
We just sit in the evenings, reading or revising. My housemate's reading the Barack Obama memoirs. I'm very impressed.
Audio books are DEAD! I just read it this week -- there's no audience for them anymore -- I guess they mean the cassettes -- but could they mean the DVDs too? Didn't check the article in detail.
I used to love listening to audio books in my car while driving to and from work back in Austin...so relaxing before and after a stressful day in the mortgage biz.
Maybe that's a reason to go back to work?
Who am I kidding? No way do I want to go back to work!!!
You would think by not working, I would have a stress-free life, but...
If I try to listen to a book now, I'm worse than my mother-in-law! I can't remember the plot. As it is, it takes me forever to read a book the old fashioned way. Usually, I crawl into bed and think, "ah, finally I can read for awhile."
Next thing I know, I'm asleep.
london uni medic girl, I have Mr. Obama's book in my "to read" stack. We're flying back to the States at the end of next month, maybe it'll be good for the plane.
They might not let you on the plane with that book, Theresa...you do know that his middle name's HUSSEIN:):)...but then I doubt his memoirs are heavy enough to pose a terrorist threat, heaved up against a pilot's head. To me he looks like a cafe'-au-lait version of Richie Cunningham on *Happy Days.* This will be an interesting election, no doubt about it! Oh, well...he's a bit better than Hillary, anyway---at least he is not married to that bulb-nosed reprobate...
Now I know that John McCain didn't leave that comment -- he would never use a big word like 'reprobate' esp in a speech where he would stumble over it.
Always remember, nobody died when Clinton lied...
and it was nobody's business but mine when he did so.
I used to watch Hee Haw in a post-modern ironic way when i was in college. I think they knew about it here. I still feel sad when the Hee Haw people pass on to their reward -- one of them just went recently too.
Think of the thousands of American children who learned, during the impeachment hearings, that a blow job from an intern is not, in fact, "sex." And with all due respect to Mrs. Clinton, we on the Committee felt hurt and betrayed that he lied to US---even though we are not married to him, we did feel it was "our business."
well, I'm fascinated by the John Edwards Love Child scandal that no one will talk about except my favorite rag, the National Enquirer.
Yes, why not air that delicious scandal? It's bad enough to cheat, but to cheat on one's DYING WIFE? Where is decency these days? At least wait until she's 6 feet under, Romeo! Maybe the party is hushing it up because he could be the VP candidate? I hope so, as nobody in their right mind would vote for THAT ticket. Of course, he'll probably claim that he "did not have sex with that woman"---the kid was conceived immaculately over coffee, he'll protest, all wide-eyed and sincere. Who do these randy ol' dawgs think they are fooling?
There is a definite media "blackout" on that story! I even looked on the Snopes "Urban Legend" website and there is NO mention of John Edwards' tomfoolery! Very weird. Ann Coulter's column today had some snickering (and doubtless accurate) theories about why this story has been so thoroughly bound-and-gagged.
It's all so sordid and sad. I've just read that Senator Edwards has confessed to the affair, but not to fathering the child.
I was hoping this story was not true, he seemed such a good guy, but it is despicable to screw around on an ill spouse!
I don't think too many people in Britain knew about Hee Haw. I was more plugged in to American culture than most, but my first encounter with it came when I visited the US in 1985. No way would they have shown that in Britian - it just wouldn't translate any more than early episodes of Coronation Street. (Not that I ever watched those either, he hastened to add).
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