Simon Elkins, a friend from work, had his first trip to the USA last week. He and other Nokians were doing presentations and manning a booth at the JavaOne show there. But when he started to describe his trip, did he discuss the beauty of California? The freedom-loving patriotic Americans he met? No, he told me how everyone there wanted tips. Handouts, I think he called them.
"I tried to get out of the hotel, the doorman wanted a tip just for opening the door for me," he recounted. "I thought 'forget that, mate, I can open the door myself.' There's a taxi outside just waiting; all the doorman did was nod to the cab driver, he pulled up four feet, and he wanted another tip. He actually held his hand out. Well, we got in the cab and slammed the door. There's his tip."
Simon was aghast that restaurants expect 15 percent -- he gave them the standard English 10 percent, and thinks they were bloody lucky to have that. (I'm trying to write like he sounds when he talks.)
A homeless man held out his hand for change, and Simon dropped a dime in it. To be fair, he didn't understand how much the coin was worth. When the homeless man protested that he wanted a dollar, Simon told him to give the dime back first!
As a public service to the SF'ers who got stiffed out of tip money from Simon last week, here's a photo of him at the trade show. Be sure and print up posters before next year's event so everyone can avoid opening doors for him, getting taxis, bringing him food in restaurants or begging for money.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Simon goes to San Francisco
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18 comments:
Simon, on behalf of the service workers of our great nation, I'd like to thank you for fostering goodwill and promoting friendly relations between our two countries:):)...
Seriously, most of the people who "demanded handouts" depend upon gratuities for a goodly portion of their income, as employers underpay them (knowing that tips supplement their base salary.) This is true for the waitstaff of restaurants, and I assume it's probably the case with doormen/bellboys as well. Yes, it's a flawed system, and it would be better if these folks were simply paid a better wage, but until things change, I feel it's only gracious to help them a bit.
I'd further observe that, in urban areas with fancy hotels, they are accustomed to expense-account guests, whose Fortune 500 employers are footing the bill for their guests' stays. I assume Nokia paid your tab? In that case, you had a bit of discretionary change to spread around, so why be miserly about passing a bit along to these people?
As for street bums, I've come to think differently about them. I used to "stiff" them, too, thinking (probably correctly) that any dollars I gave them would go straight to the cheap-wine merchant down the road, but these days I just hand 'em whatever I have---$1, $5---thinking, "There but for the grace of God go I." And if a roadside beggar has a sad hungry-looking mongrel on a leash beside him, I---well, that's why I rarely carry large amount of cash, because I'd probably just throw 'em my entire wallet!
BWJ, that doesn't sound like you! You've gone socialist in your old age. Good for you. People deserve our compassion I agree. When I realized how little people in the US make in these jobs, I became a generous tipper. Mel tries to remove the extra tip, but I look out for that now and put the money back.
I noticed that when I was in California too. It seemed like I didn't even have the right to park my own car any more - someone else would have to do it for me and demand money for doing it!
Also, I think there's a difference between tipping in a situation where you're paying for something you want (such as in a restaurant) and services you don't ask for, like having the door held open for you.
I mean, I'm not disabled - I can open the door myself and wave to a cab myself. The idea of paying a dollar (or more) for a few seconds work seems ridiculous. If it's not a job an employer will pay for, it's not a job at all.
And valet parking is the most ridiculoou system of the lot. Aren't Americans fat enough without eliminating even the walk from the car park to the restaurant/hotel/casino?
These people are a complete waste. Give them some real work, I say.
Well, don't get excited---I'm still a card-carrying capitalist. Just maybe a more benevolent one. The thing about tips is, they are not taxable, and I'm all for anyone earning a bit of cash that the government doesn't know about. Having run a cash-based dabbin' business years ago, I know the utter sweetness of keeping one's money all to oneself, rather than having the IRS snatch it away to pay for useless wasteful social programs (see, I ain't changed:):)
I suppose my point is: if I see a bum and his poor dog, and choose to hand him/her a fiver---or a twenty, if I've been to the bank, that's MY choice---same with big tips to nice waitstaff---but dutifully paying outrageous taxes and having 'em funneled to God-knows-what federal program (or yes, our war)would irk me no end.
Mel, I see your point, especially about valet parking, but a lot of that is security/liability-based. It's to our advantage to have that little ticket verifying that our car has been parked by the facility's employee---if it's broken into, you have a claim, and the hotel's insurance may compensate you. If you park it yourself on the street, for free (after meter charges,) you have no one to sue when your windows are smashed and your CD player is ripped out.
Mel---it is unlike you to mix arguments and obfuscate logic! The (undeniable) fatness of Americans and their need to walk from their cars to their pleasure-domes (casinos, whatever) was never the point of this thread.
But now you've mentioned it, I do have to say that our motor-based culture is unfortunate. I bike to my gym when the weather permits (though after Katie's terrifying experience I might think twice!) and have a little 2-wheel grocery cart I can roll up the sidewalk to the nearby store, but I'm the exception here. I think that the recent/increasing upsurge in fuel prices may make others do the same soon, though.
Why the food stamp program will pay for Twinkies and Doritos continues to mystify me, though. Our tax dollars at work...
What to tip is an old argument between my English husband and myself. I firmly believe that in England, the waitstaff should be paid a lower wage and then have to provide good service to earn their tips. Of course, my husband thinks that "good service" in America is all about fake niceness. I don't care whether or not it's fake, as long as while they're waiting/serving me, they're nice and provide good service.
I never even thought of that, Theresa. Is that why they are so mean to us in UK restaurants? Because they don't depend so much on tips?
Hi Realist - I'm not talking about the difference between parking it on the street and in the facility's parking lot. I'm remembering the time I parked in a restaurant car park and walked towards the restaurant with excited valets waving at me because I'd parked myself instead of letting them put it in the same place.
I can't believe this is a liability issue in California but in no other state.
So when the doorman waves to a taxi, is he accepting liability on behalf of the hotel for anything that may happen as a result of that choice of taxi? If I was involved in a fatal accident, would Elizabeth be able to sue the hotel? That would be an interesting case...
I was only referring to enclosed parking garages. But with tort/liability law as it is, no telling what might constitute an actionable case. Remember, we live in a country whose judicial system awarded silly-millions to the stupid idiot who---duh---didn't realize that McDonald's coffee might be scalding hot, and burnt her iddum-widdum self. Depends on how good a lawyer you have, I guess...and how good a team of lawyers the hotel has? Better not get my husband started on ridiculous tort claims...whatever happened to common sense?
But hey, if you don't want to tip, stay in a place like a Days Inn that doesn't have a doorman/valet, and eat at a Piccadilly cafeteria. Up higher on the lodging/food chain, it's just the custom to give a bit to the liveried help out front, leave a bit for the maid, and shrug it off. Or so it seems to me.
Ha! That's telling 'em, BWJ. You non-tippers, stay at a cheap joint next time and open your doors yourself.
Glad i caused so many comments to be posted :-)
I don't mind tipping, but when the waiter behind the hotel bar puts out his hand for a tip, after giving me a bottle of water to take to my room, I thought "that's taking the p*ss" and the water tasted like it too :-0
Simon, you really need your own newspaper column with colorful opinions like those.
BWJ, when you said 'if I see a bum', Simon would think you meant you were seeing someone's backside as that's what bum means over here. what do you call a bum over here? now I can't remember.
Oh goodness---sorry about the BUM thing! You'd think someone who preens herself on being pretty good at languages would be able to translate English into...English! Yes, "bum" in the States means homeless beggar, streetside mendicant, jobless wastrel...not a backside. Sorry, Simon.
I have to wonder about the "hand held out"??? Usually they're more subtle. And no, tipping for a mere bottle of water would not be required. Americans may be over-tippers, but we're not stupid!
We gave a party and hired a bartender (LE's 50th, Eliz, you were there) and he asked if he could place a "little tippin' jar" on the bar. We said ABSOLUTELY NOT, this is a private party, and we will not extract money from our guests. We simply agreed to pay him 20% over his fee ourselves.
A little tippin' jar! Ha. That would have been the talk of the town the next day if you'd allowed that! Can you imagine if Simon had been a guest at your party and saw a tippin' jar??
This is for Simon: we went to Chicago last summer for some law seminar, and stayed at one of those strange nouveau-Oriental-moderne Westin hotels---very cool, ultra-chic decor. Well, there was a bottle of designer water (Voga) by the bedside, and being thirsty, I opened it and drank it. Upon checkout, my husband noticed a $10 charge for "in-room bar" and he said, wait, we didn't have any of that stuff in the little fridge...turns out they were charging for that bedside water! He refused to pay for it, they exchanged some rude words, but...wow. If I'd known it would cause that much trouble, I'd have just filled a plastic cup from the bathroom tap. No water on earth is worth $10!
Here's my favourite American tipping story (sorry to those whom I have bored with it before).
I was in a ski resort in New Hampshire and received a restaurant bill. That's rather high, I thought. Surely they haven't added a service charge? No, they never do that in America, not for a party of four. In any case, they've left a space for the "gratuity" on the credit card voucher.
Imagine my surprise when I examined the voucher in more detail. Not only had they already added an 18% (!) tip, but they'd scrawled "Thank You" across the subtotal and 18% addition, obscuring it against all but the most thorough examination.
"Thank you, my arse", I thought. I would have taken it off on principle, leaving neither tip not gratuity, but Elizabeth doesn't like a scene, so I just left it the way it was.
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