Chavs

I wasn't going to talk about chavs in this blog, but have been forced into it by new photographic evidence that one of our commenters might be headed into chavdom.

As wiki puts it, chav is a "mainly derogatory slang term in the United Kingdom for a stereotype fixated on low quality or counterfeit goods. It commonly refers to those belonging to a youth sub-culture, often stereotypically associated with a low socio-economic class, a striking dress sense and criminal activity."

Chavs almost ruined Burburry's business in the UK when they started wearing cheap knockoffs as in the photo above. Now nobody can wear it anymore because people will assume it's fake and was bought in some cheap town market, along with counterfeit mobile phones that use ridiculously annoying ringtones. Wild chavs get hit with ASBOs -- that means the police give them Anti-social behavioural orders that they are supposed to adhere to -- such as they can't be on the streets after midnight, etc., but now it's a badge of honor in chav families. ("Junior got his first ASBO! We are so proud.")

Here's a test to see if you are a chav:

Question: Have you ever shopped at Co-op, Iceland or Hyper Value?

Yes No

Question: Have you worn Burberry check in the last year?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket?
Yes No

Question: Do you know any straight men who wear earrings?
Yes No

Question: Is your mobile phone a "pay as you go"?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever gone to Pizza Hut on a date?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever worn gold jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever eaten a pot noodle?
Yes No

Question: Do you call your Grandmother your "Nan"?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever got a present from a petrol station store?
Yes No

Question: Do you find blue LED lights attractive?
Yes No

Question: Do you have "tea" as your evening meal?
Yes No

Question: Are there cans of Carling Black Label in your fridge?
Yes No

Question: Do you consider David Beckham someone to look up to?
Yes No

Question: Have you ever cut out and used money off coupons from magazines?
Yes No

Question: Was your education paid for by the tax-payer?
Yes No

If you answered yes to the majority of questions, we're worried about you.

Anyway, Neil Duggan at Nokia spotted a potential chav at the airport and is going to send the photo (below) to the police for their records. Eagle-eyed readers of this blog might notice an uncanny resemblance to Simon Elkins, our tight-fisted tipper.