I belong to an American expats in the UK group on the Internet. Usually discussions are confined to where to find Aunt Jemima's pancake syrup in the UK or what does 21 Celsius translate to in Farenheit (so the person can figure out what temperature it is as they only give it in metric amounts on the radio).
But last week a woman from California put a note in the conference to ask how people really felt about living in the UK as she was a bit apprehensive about her upcoming move, and a firestorm of emotion erupted.
Women began to write long messages about how much they hate it here. They listed in detail what they hated: the weather, high prices, unfriendly people, hooligans, crime, neighbors letting kids trample all over their flowerbeds, etc. As I read these lists, I was surprised at the vehemence of the writers' emotions. One woman would set off another who came out of the woodwork to list all she hates and on and on. Finally someone entered the single comment that people who live here are "heathens."
The poor woman who entered the original query must be shaking in her boots at the thought of moving here. When another poster asked others to calm down and list some positives about living in England, she was shouted down with cries of, "I'm just being honest! Do you not like honesty? How do you know what I've experienced?"
It's all such naked emotion; I never expected to see such raw stuff on a Monday morning. I think if they want to be honest in there, they should rename the conference from American Expats in the UK to Let me Count the Ways that I Hate England.
11 comments:
ITS FUNNY WHEN I AM ABROAD, THERE ARE MANY OCCASIONS WHEN I FEEL EMBARESSED ABOUT BEING BRITISH. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I HAVE COME HOM EFROM TRIPS ABROAD AND HAVE WINCE AT THIS COUNTRY. BUT I HAVE ALSO SPOKEN TO PEOPLE FROM AROUND THE WORLD WHO FEEL THE SAME ABOUT THEIR HOME LANDS. MY FRIEND WHO NOW LIVES IN NAPA ONCE SAID "YOU CAN HAVE A CRAPPY JOB ANYWHERE", HE HATES THE LACK OF SEASONS IN CA.I THINK IT DEPENDS ON YOUR OUT LOOK IF YOUR NOT OPEN MINDED AND POSITIVE ANY WHERE WILL BE A DUMP. I FIND OFTEN PEOPLE CAN MAKE A PLACE WHICH YOU FIRST THINK IS AWFULL INTO AN AMAZING PLACE.SORRY I'VE BLABBED ON SO LONG, BUT ITS ALL DOWN TO THE INDIVIDUAL IS WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY I SUPPOSE, THANKFULLY WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
Wow, Eliz, that angry woman sounds as if she needs a nice long rest-cure. Her rantings rather beg the question: "Well, if you're so unhappy, MOVE!" (We think the same thing about tiresome bores who constantly complain about Mississippi's state flag in numberless letters-to-editor...we think, well, darlings, please do feel free to relocate to a state whose flag suits your aesthetic sensibilities!)
I'd love to live in England. The rain and cold would suit me just fine, the shop hours would be easy to get used to, and where else can you have your bicycle ride interrupted by a herd of sheep crossing the road, escorted by precious Border collies?
ANONYMOUS, you are right that malcontents can flourish in any climate. The happy will find something to be happy about, and the curmudgeons will always have something to curmudge about!
Thanks, that made me feel better. I know if I went in there to the expats group and put in a moderate comment, I would be crucified so thought I'd mull it over in here first.
Anonymous, John Steinbeck said the same thing about living in Florida -- how could you stand, he said, not to have the seasons of the year? Will find the quote and put it in later.
Oh anglohile, one woman in the conference made me laff. She went and married a guy who has a drug conviction from 1982 when he was young and foolish so now she can't enter the US with him and see how her kids are doing. (these women meet guys on the Internet and move over, often leaving older/grown kids behind in teh US)
Well, I sho nuff be agreein' with John Steinbeck about the absence of seasons in Florida. It would be the sunshiny/glaring obverse of permafrost in Antarctica---a little cyclical variety certainly boosts the spirits, I find.
One of my favorite books is Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings' *Cross Creek*---about Florida in the old days before it was "discovered" by shivering Upper East Side NY refugees, real estate investors, the Disney Corporation, and other soulless invaders...a very beautiful book. But even right thar in the Floridy panhandle, there'd come the odd freeze that wiped out the orange crop...so where ya gonna go live that weather is NEVER a factor? Shangri-la, I reckon...
To rail and scream against one's physical environment seems like a pretty foolish waste of time. Can you imagine Ma Ingalls in the *Little House* books throwing herself on her corn-husk mattress and screeching, "Charles, I am SO DEPRESSED---I cannot stand one more minute of this raw prairie life! Blizzards! Injuns! Churning my own butter---nursing the girls through malaria without antibiotics---mending everyone's socks for the hundredth time---when are MY NEEDS going to be met, Goddamnit?"
We're all pretty lucky, and should probably just shut up when we get cranky about where we live...
It's all an orchestrated catharsis for their anger and unhappiness in their lives, luck and choices. If they direct it all at the evil "outsiders" it allows them to vent their spleen (for today anyway). No wonder the english people they know don't like them.
The really funny part is the way they all jump to extreme offense if anyone says anything bad about americans. I was on that group a couple of years ago, and someone there actually contacted a tv station in order to complain about an advert that they thought was anti-american. And when it was pointed out that the sentiment was not anti-american, they still carried on complaining as though it *was*.
Let me kind and say the women over there have a certain kind of mind.
I'm a member of the same forum and as I began to read the recent string of posts, I would stop because I didn't want to even partake by reading what was being said. Then in my "Pollyannaness" (as my husband calls it), I would check again, because, surely, the tone couldn't have got worse and now all the good of living here was now the focus. Each and every time, I would disappointed to see it still going on.
One woman has posted that she is resigning as a member and I have wondered how many more have left without saying they are leaving. I have asked myself why I'm a member of this group...what benefit have I received as a result?
Elizabeth, I now know the reason I'm a member...it was to find your blog.
Oh, you have to give me the link! I am inordinately curious about just what they've said about this green and pleasant land.
Theresa, I think some of those women in there need help! A couple of them are sounding insane, no kidding. And they are like a pack of wolves, jumping on anyone who says something different & ripping them to shreds. I can't decide whether to go or stay just to see what they say next!
and that's exactly why I left back in Jan.
Sarah, thanks for the link to your blog about that expats conference. Your words made me feel much better. I'm still subscribed to the daily digest of vehement hatred for all things English, but I feel sort of guilty about it!
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